Wednesday, June 08, 2005

"The Girl Next Door"

Once in a while, a movie comes along where you wonder how it got made.

"The Girl Next Door" is one of those movies.

The only reason this movie got made is because Elisha Cuthbert somehow signed up to be on it. Her agent should be fired immediately. Whoever read the script for her and decided it would be a good move her in career obviously has a crack habit and should be fired.

Actually, the problem with the movie isn't the concept. The concept could be pretty funny... a dorky kid starts going out with a porn star that moves in next door. Hey, "Risky Business" was essentially the same thing and that movie was ok.

The problem with this movie is that it's one of the most mean-spirited movies I've ever seen. There's possibly one legitimate laugh in the whole thing. The rest is really... just... mean.

It's hard to describe what I'm talking about with this. I think Ebert might have said this about the movie when he reviewed it and it just stuck in my brain. The girl's porn director comes into the movie and it's really all downhill from there. He's a mean guy, but not comically mean, just mean. The situations with him in it just make your skin crawl instead of giving you a laugh. But who doesn't laugh when thinking of "Guido the Killer Pimp" from Risky Business? The filmmakers here missed out on making a characture here instead of a character.

Speaking of Risky Business, it's obvious that a lot of movies these days are inspired by John Hughes/80's type teenager movies (though Risky Business is not a Hughes movie). As A.O. Scott once credited, he's the least recognized, yet most influential, director of our time. The Girl Next Door is also inspired by John Hughes movies, except for one major difference: it's not funny.

Rating: it will piss you off even to watch for free on cable (which is how I watched it).

1 comment:

b said...

I can't believe you slammed this movie so hard. Ok - the pimp character doesn't work after he attacks him at the pr0n conference but he's fine until then. And it's not all that funny most of the time, but Elisha Cuthbert keeps threatening to take her clothes off!

The most intriguing part of the movie is trying to determine what's a body double and what is actually elisha cuthbert. I could play this game endlessly.

Plus you have to admit that the part where someone gives him some Ecstasy and then he goes to a banquet is funny. His friends are also somewhat entertaining.