Sunday, June 05, 2005

Tanya Roberts - Worst Bond Girl Ever

I'm watching "View to a Kill" right now on Encore. 90% of her lines in this movie are "James!" in different tones of distress. Oh yeah, and if that's not bad enough, at the end of this movie, she gets abducted by a menacing blimp moving at about 5 mph.

Let's review some of her lines in this movie:
  • "James! Don't leave me!" (In burning elevator scene)
  • "James! Where are you going!?" (Burning elevator scene)
  • "James!" (When driving fire truck)
  • "James!" (In loving tone, as menacing blimp comes behind her)
  • "James! James!" (On Golden Gate Bridge)
  • "James! Look Out!" (on golden gate bridge)
Ok, much of this is the writer's fault, not hers. She is hot, I will give her kudos for that. And she's funny on That 70's Show.

Generally, I guess this movie really sucks except for the Paris chase scene. Somehow the Russians are supposed to be involved, and what's up with this horse auction? The bad guys are morons. They drive around in a blimp, yeah, that won't attract any attention. The Nazi doctor has a great line at the end when he can't get a handle on a lit bundle of dynamite: "Neh! Neh! Neh! Neh!". Some evil Nazi genius doctor huh, can't even throw a bunch of TNT out the window of a blimp? Dumbass.

2 comments:

b said...

Hey, I like A View to a Kill! I know it's probably nostalgia because it was one of the first Bond movies I saw growing up. But here's a movie with Christopher Walken and Grace Jones. I don't remember why he was investigating Zorin in the first place. Didn't he get evidence of racehorse doping at one point? How the hell did this get to the San Andreas fault? Still I think the blimp was cool (what other movie drops someone from a blimp?) even if it was stupid and the evil plan was very sinister.

As for Tanya Roberts, wasn't it her character that was blasting people with rock salt cartridges at one point? Ok, she was a bit helpless, but what Bond girl wasn't that came before? In The Man With the Golden Gun you've got that (hot) Bond girl who all she has to do is stand there in a bathing suit and somehow she manages to bump the switch that almost lasers Bond.

If you are seriously looking for the worst Bond girl ever, look no further than Denise Richards in The World is Not Enough.

Trimbo said...

If you are seriously looking for the worst Bond girl ever, look no further than Denise Richards in The World is Not Enough.

Aw crap, you're probably right. They tried to make her smart with the lines in the script and they came out awful. "The hydrogen is building up pressure... it's going to bLOOOW!"