Turistas (2006)

Josh Duhamel must the easiest man in Hollywood to cast. Need a guy in a movie that is kinda dumb, kinda goofy but takes his shirt off a lot? Call Josh Duhamel! The script finds at least 4 or 5 ways to get this guy's shirt off in the movie. When I've seen that show he's in, "Las Vegas," he always seems to find a way to take his shirt off in that as well. The guy is ripped, good for him. I'm glad he has 8 hours a day to work on his body, unlike the rest of us who sit in front of a computer.

I'm not sure which came first, Josh Duhamel being cast or a movie producer honestly wanting to make this movie. I think it was a script floating around, then Duhamel got cast and someone said "OH GREAT, now we have to make this piece of shit. Ok everybody, book some tickets for Brazil, at least we'll get some R&R in." Everyone involved in this mailed in the effort. The script is a one-week hackjob that someone thought of while they were on vacation. The movie relies on gross-out scenes to have a plot. I'd rather have gross-out scenes with no plot, which are commonly called "slasher movies", than agonize through gross-out stuff just to explain why things are going on. Oh, and the only way they got this to be feature length (i.e. 75+ minutes), was an extraordinarily long chase scene at the end.

Although, in saying this I'm ripping on one of my favorite actors ever: John Stockwell. You might remember him as Mike Harlan in My Science Project (1985) or Cougar in Top Gun (1986). Here's a pic of John, as Mike Harlan (note trucker hat, those are back in style now)


Well, he directed this movie. I feel kind of sorry for him, because he had previously directed Blue Crush (2002), an actually enjoyable movie that had no gore. Like Blue Crush, this movie has extensive underwater photography, which could be the reason he hooked up with it. Sadly, Stockwell has nothing in development according to IMDB, probably because of this horrific movie.

In any case, JSS rates this movie as BAD/BAD. Avoid at all costs.